Never have I ever met a wedding misconception I wasn’t more than happy to debunk. In fact, as a wedding photographer who has captured weddings in all so-called shapes and sizes, I can singlehandedly dismantle every myth you’ve come to believe about weddings in only thirteen words. Ready?

There is no such thing as a right way to do a wedding.

One more time for the people in the back, you say? 

There is no such thing as a right way to do a wedding! (Except, maybe, of course, to ensure that “I do’s” are said and marriage certificates are signed. You know, in the interest of making it official… Kinda important stuff!)

But apart from that, your wedding day is exactly that… your wedding day. No one else’s. 

All that matters is that the two of you experience a lifetime’s worth of joy in a single day, surrounded by all of your favorite people, as you declare your undying love for your (most) favorite person in the whole wide world. 

But, because we’re both here and because I’ve seen a wedding or two in my day, let’s debunk a few specific misconceptions together, shall we? 

I decided to use high school sweethearts Sam and Grace’s Abella Farm wedding in the Twin Cities to illustrate my point because their vintage-inspired meets modern farmhouse wedding was every bit the myth buster, in and of itself.

Myth #1: An overcast day will entirely ruin your wedding photos.

While it is totally reasonable to hope for sunshine on your wedding day, it also won’t be the end of the world if the weather ends up being a bit stormy and overcast. In fact, in Grace and Sam’s case, it only helped their cause.

Sure, the ceremony had to be moved inside, and that was a disheartening change of plan. Of course, everybody was bummed when golden hour photos were a little less golden and a little more gray.

BUT!

Without the wind rustling Grace’s stunnnnning cathedral veil and timeless, highneck gown and the clouds overhead creating even lighting conditions, there’s no way the wedding photos would have turned out as moody and vintage-y as they did. 

I mean, talk about a VIBE. The intentional, vintage-inspired details that Grace and Sam embedded in their wedding day (including the newlyweds themselves!) were only enhanced by the less-than-ideal weather. 

Vendors | Venue: Abella Weddings and Events | Florist: Lakes Floral | Bride’s Dress: Grace Loves Lace | Groom’s Suit: Knight’s Chamber | DJ: Bellagalla | Catering: Acapulco Mexican Restaurant | Bar: WunderBar | Dessert: Nothing Bundt Cakes | Hair: The Beauty Collective | Video: Rob and Kate Ash | Cake: Seasons Baking Co. | Day Of Coordinator: Alyssa Lane Wedding

Myth #2: You won’t see near as much of your husband or wife on your wedding day as you’d like.

I won’t lie to you. You are going to feel pulled in 67 different directions. There will be so many things happening at once and so many wedding guests vying for your attention.

But remember: You only get to do this day once. You’re going to want to do it alongside your partner, I can promise you that. 

As a Minnesota wedding photographer whose love language is telling your love story, this is one of the points I strive to hit home with each and every one of my couples: 

In order to have the candid photos of you two being you, together, you’re going to have to be, well… together.

Grace and Sam were absolute all-stars about it, never straying far from each other’s sides. (Which isn’t all that hard to do when you’re as out-of-your-mind-in-love with each other like Sam and Grace are.)

During cocktail hour? Always an arm’s length away. 

Throughout dinner? Only eyes for each other.

On the dance floor? About half a ‘Y’ of the YMCA away from accidentally smacking each other in the face (lovingly, of course). 

Of course, visit with all of the friends and family that came to see you and yours tie the knot! But stay together! You’re going to want the photos of your husband during speeches, with his arm draped leisurely across the back of the chair and his head always inclined slightly towards you, Bride-To-Be. 

And Groom-To-Be? There’s nothing you’ll be so happy to see in your final gallery as a reminder that the woman you get to wake up to every single morning can also really show you who’s boss on the dance floor. 

And the only way we capture those like-it-was-yesterday moments is if you’re actually by each other’s side on one of the most important days of your lives.

Myth #3: Brides have to do a first look with their dad.

While it is certainly traditional to do your first look with your father, there are literally no rules about first looks. You can do them wherever and with whoever you want! 

Both Grace and Sam deeply value their families and were extremely thoughtful throughout the planning process about their timeline giving them more than enough moments to be with their people. One of said slots in that timeline was dedicated to an unhurried, emotional first look with Grace’s dad and brother, with mom standing right by her side.

Grace wanted all of them to be a part of that grand reveal moment as the humans who have been a part of most of her moments… And so, they were.

Myth #4: Golden hour photos are not a necessity in the wedding timeline. 

Again, your wedding, your way, but food for thought: Golden hour photos (or gray hour photos in Grace’s and Sam’s case) are the first chance you two have to be alone together as husband and wife. 

The “I do’s” have been said. The nerves are gone. Maybe the heels are off, maybe the cuff links and jacket buttons have been let loose. 

Regardless, you two are married. Like, married married. I love to carve out a small chunk of time for you to revel in that. To whoop and holler and kiss and let all of the madness just melt away. As the meadow grass swayed in the wind around Grace and Sam, you can literally see how much lighter and more at ease the couple is in front of the camera.

Myth #5: You have to totally deck out your venue to make it special. 

While thoughtful details are totally my jam, in my experience, most wedding venues (Abella being no exception) are so beautiful in their simplicity alone. 

By the time you source tables and chairs (if the venue doesn’t provide it already), design your tablescapes, and brainstorm with your florist, your wedding reception honestly doesn’t need much else to make it stunning. After all, by the time you two walk in as Mr. and Mrs. to a roar of cheers from your wedding guests, it will have all of the glamor it really needs.

Just like your love story is unlike any other’s, so, too, is your wedding day. There’s no recipe to follow, no step-by-step plan, no rulebook of do’s and don’ts. 

There’s only the two of you and all of the things you value most in the world. All that really matters is that your wedding day is a reflection of that. And I can’t wait to be the one to capture it, with you.